I officially can't sleep so I thought what the hell, why not post another blog. I have a few topics today, tonight, this morning, whatever the hell. First I am going to talk a little about the playoffs, including my Super Bowl prediction. I am going to also address a special topic that a friend of mine asked me to blog about, should be interesting, but warning you must be at least 18 to read it lol. And I have a long answer to a question I received on Facebook. So, enough talk, let's roll hoe.
So, in the 2014 NFL Playoffs, with game picks I am 6-2. My two losses were when I chose Philly over New Orleans and Indy over New England, yeah gee thanks hoe. This weekend the AFC & NFC Championship games were decided, it will be San Francisco vs Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots vs Denver Broncos. In week 6, I chose San Francisco & Denver to battle it out at the Super Bowl. So it is looking pretty good so far. Which is kind of funny, because I also picked them to go last year, but Denver lost in the divisional round to the Ravens. I got to say though, that Denver secondary worries me a little bit after watching them against San Diego. Quentin Jammer got his ass whooped by a rookie Keenan Allen. What do you think Tom Brady is going to do to him. You need to sit Jammer, for real. He is way past his prime and every single wide out on the Patriots will have a significant speed advantage over him. But I still think Denver will pull it out, they are playing at Mile High and I think Peyton will chew up that New England secondary with Aqib Talib out. Let's just hope Wes Welker can make up his mind about fielding a punt or not this time, know what I am saying. That shit pissed me off, I felt like Welker was still being Tom Brady's butt pirate and decided to hand it to his old team. I say take Welker off the field for this game haha. If New England makes it to the Super Bowl, I am not watching it this year, I am not even close to playing. I haven't missed a Super Bowl in 17 years but I have seen New England in the Super Bowl 5 fucking times since Tom Brady took over, that is enough I think. I am counting Peyton not to choke on his balls and for his defense to keep Brady Fairy in check. As far as the 49ers vs Seahawks game, I am rooting for San Fran of course but this is one of those games where I am more or less okay with who ever wins. But I sincerely think 49ers will defeat the Seahawks. A lot of you will laugh at this but I think the Seahawks are overrated, they're quite a few games where they should of lost but based on luck or lack of discipline by the other team, they pulled it out. I think Boldin will be a non factor because of Richard Sherman & Earl Thomas on him. So that means Crabtree, Davis & Ginn is going to have to step it up and make some plays. But I think San Fran should stick to the game plan they had in their second meeting and that is pound the ball with Frank Gore. You need to wear out that defensive front, so that the pass rush slows down and you give Kap more time to make a play with his legs or to make a pass down field. I will say this no matter who wins either game, the Super Bowl is going to be a bad ass game. Probably the best Super Bowl in a while. In my opinion out of the 4, I rank them in this order as far as chance of winning it all. Denver #1, San Fran #2, Seattle #3 and New England #4. Okay I hate New England so I am a bit bias, sue me.
Alright ladies and gents, I have a special topic here. My friend Jazzy wanted me to blog about, I have no idea why she wants me to. But The Cody is a man of his word. So I am going to talk about various sexual techniques, to kind of teach inexperienced men and even women how to please their others. Now hold up, I am not an expert, but I am well experienced. And remember The Cody has vowed now to bullshit in his blog. I have a pretty high number in partners, I won't lie so I know what I am talking about. Let's start with the dudes. One of my sexual mottos, do NOT be a pussy while eating pussy. First rule of eating pussy, never ask a girl how she likes it done, it ruins the mood and let's her know you may not know what the fuck your doing. You give a girl that idea, she will be second guessing herself about sleeping with you broseph. It is all about exploring while your down there, and no i don't mean opening her up and looking inside you moron. Explore with you mouth and tongue, find out how she likes it by the way she breaths. When you find her breathing heavy and moaning loud (ish) you found your rhythm. My technique is think of it as making out, your still kissing lips just a different pair and no kiss is good without tongue, feel me? Second rule, do NOT leave out a woman's clit while eating her out. If you do that, shit you might as well let her handle it herself. Two ways you can satisfy the clit, put the middle of your tongue on it and lick it as if you were licking an Ice Cream cone. Or you can put it in your mouth and suck on it as if you were sucking on her breast. My suggestion is do both, I haven't met a women yet that doesn't arch her back when you do either one (if you know what you are doing). Third and final rule, pertaining to do not be a pussy while eating pussy, you do not have to do it the whole time but at one point stick the tip of your tongue inside her and swirl it slowly around all inside. It will stimulate her, make her super wet. Trust me. Your best practice for doing this is an Ice Cream cone, do not just use tongue as I said, use your lips as if you are making out, never leave out the clit and make sure you get all up in it. Many men have different ways of having sex, many women like it a different way. But just sticking to the traditional stuff, no matter what your size is, I can tell you how to use it to make sure that it is good for the girl no matter what. When sticking it inside her, be very slow at first, once your head is in, thrust that shit inside her until all of you is in there. And while thrusting, two key things, keep a rhythm do not keep changing your ways, women hate that. They are trying to get off too, remember that. Secondly, make sure you go all the way in (unless you are super big, then just go in as much as she can take) and do NOT go all the way out. Fucks up the rhythm. Pull out until nothing but the head is in, and just keep it on repeat. Also, I suggest pinning her legs back, not ALL the way back where you are going to break her, but have your hands on her thighs and use it as leverage for thrusting. With the legs wide open, it makes it easier to hit that G Spot. One last thing, unless you are trying to be passionate and make love with a lover, do not go slow, that shit is boring. If you are just trying to have fun and help her bust, and you bust, pound the shit bro. Oh and keep in mine, a gentleman let's his lady cum first. I am not saying, but I am just saying.
Okay, I do have a little advice for women but not much. Sucking dick is a misleading term, you do not have to SUCK the dick the whole time. Ladies, you want to please your man orally, open your mouth nice and wide, and pleasure the head with your throat. Trust The Cody, that shit feels fucking good. Suck it like a lollipop is stupid, lick it like a lollipop is more of an accurate way of describing of what you should do. Take the side of your tongue and swirl it around the base and the head, and then go as far down on it as you can. Do that every ten or so sucks, lol. And ladies, do you want to please your man when you are in control of the sex? Then learn how to JUST move your hips and your ass, because if you can booty dance, then booty dance on that dick because there is not a man in this world unless they are taking sex enhancement pills that can handle it. Grinding is played out, and going up and down with your whole body is just....zzzzzzzz. Bounce that booty baby girl lol. And guys grab under her butt cheeks and help her out a little bit. That's all I got for this topic, I hope this was entertaining haha.
Alright, I am not going to mention her name and I ask you nicely not to ask me, because I respect her privacy. But I was asked a question on Facebook a couple of days ago, and I have a big answer to it. So this is the only question I am answering this week. This is what the message said "Hi Cody i luv your youtube videos i am a big peebo fan. I have a question for your blog i get messed with by a lot of guys and girls. Im bit of a gothic chick and I like anime and stuff im also kind of chubby. Some people really make me feel bad bout myself and i have thought bout suicide a few times but im to scared to do it. Do you have any advice on how i can make this all go away?"
First, I want to say this to you honey. Suicide is not the answer, your life is much more precious than what a bunch of cock sniffs think. Life is a precious gift from God, do not waste it being sad or offended by what people say. I have learned that any day spent sad or offended, is a wasted day. You are preaching to the choir when it comes to turmoil sweetheart. I have had women do some AWFUL shit to my ass, I was molested at 13 by a 33 year old woman, the only woman I ever fell IN love with who I bought an engagement ring for and planned to propose to at my family's Christmas Eve Party, dumped me a month before Christmas for a married man. I live with the guilt of ruining a guy's life, I was friends with a very sweet girl and she had a boyfriend for a few months, that boyfriend stole her virginity from her by raping and beating her. I have a NASTY temper, I went and solved that shit The Cody way. And things got way out of hand, I lost it. I do not regret whooping his ass, but I do regret not stopping when he called mercy. He has a hard time living life now. Let's just say that, and that guilt gets to me a lot. But the worst thing in my life I deal with every day for 7 years is my Dad committing suicide. Let me tell you something, I love my father with all my damn heart. I miss him every day, but if I were to ever see him again. I would fucking whoop his ass, I would roll his punk ass all around the yard. I fucking hate him, I hate him. I was 16 years old, going through hard fucking times and I needed my Dad. He was my best friend, and he fucking pussed out and fucking left my ass here. Fuck his ass bro. I'll never forgive him, never. I think if he were still alive, my life would be on a better track. My Dad is a bitch, he bitched out. End of story. Do not make the same mistake he did, you have family I sure that adores you and loves you for who you are beautiful. It doesn't matter what other people think about us, it is more important what we think of ourselves. Look at me honey, I am a 6ft tall 250 lb 23 year old dude who gets on the Internet and posts videos of himself wearing boxers on his head, talking in strange ass voices, who looks like a combination of Big Foot, Jabba The Hut and Homer Simpson all rolled into one. I could care less what people think, you know why? I am pretty sure I could whip 90 percent of my haters, two I know damn well I am a good person. I personally find myself hilarious, I know I have a big heart, I once gave my whole paycheck to a homeless woman who was with her 4 year old son. Ive taken a bullet for a friend, every time I fall for a girl I give my heart to make her feel as special as the stars. I can look in the mirror and say, I am The Cody....there will never be another like me, in the words of the genius Eminem "I'll be one tough act to follow" Listen sweetheart, this is what I want you to do every single day. You find a mirror, I want you to look into it, look into your face, smile at yourself and say as loud as you can "I am awesome" You will feel a lot better. Hell give yourself a nick name, and refer to yourself in the third person like The Cody haha. Just playing. And who gives a flying monkey fart shrimp dick noodle ass crotch what those people think. They are probably Peter Griffin look alikes who watch anime and masturbate to World of Warcraft. They give you any more trouble, you come find me, I'll slap five a hoe. You live all the way out in Pennsylvania but I can drive, you can never drive too far to whoop a hoe's ass. Love yourself sweetheart, death is not the answer, life is something that should be valued and cherished, not thrown away. Your family would be devastated, and it would cause an unnecessary storm of people blaming one and another, dragging the people who bully you too court and all this nonsense. You know how far bullies make it in life, they end getting ass raped in prison by Raul & Jermaine. You are the skies brightest star, If you see the world without the moon your life will always be dark. But follow the moonlight, you will find heaven.
Well that is going to do it for The Cody, hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to my good friend Jazzy who suggested my very X-Rated topic. If you have ANY topic ideas, tweet me @TheCody_Says. Also, again not that anyone will do it but I am just putting it out there, here is the link to my amazon wishlist http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2ZTTAZMYBE3BX/ref=topnav_lists_1. If anyone purchases me ANYTHING on the list, they can write me a script or tell me what they want me to do in a Youtube video, the only exempts are I will not do anything homosexual as in kiss or touch a guy. Even The Cody has boundaries. Other than that, it is fair game. Email me at thecodysays@gmail.com to let me know if you bought something and let me know what your script or suggestion is. I am a man of my word, I will do whatever you want me to do. Trust The Cody. Well, until next time guys.....I am The Cody....Says....who? The Cody.
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